Greetings...
from the black hole formerly known as Calcutta!

Like everything in life the last couple of days have been a mixture of the sweet and the sour.

The Air France strike left me waiting for 6-hours on a standby list at Charles de Gaulle, only at the last minute to be handed a business class boarding pass and told to sprint for the plane. I make a bit of a habit of leaving boarding until the very last minute but this is the first time i've actually had to knock on the door of a 747 and ask them to open up.
I slipped back into the luxury of my flatbed seat safe in the knowledge that there was little hope of my bag having made it on to the same flight, and woke up 7 hours later in Dehli to find my suspicions confirmed.

Having filled in multiple 'wheres my luggage..?' forms at Delhi and randomly picked a hostel in Kolkata as a forwarding address for my pack I jumped on a Jet Airways flight and landed here bright and early Tuesday morning. Finding a taxi was a breeze, the ride into town was the usual scramble of bikes and buses, all accompanied by the clamour of horns, and I quickly felt like i'd slipped back into the India groove and was on vacation.

The Lonely Planet describes the hostel I randomly chose as 'cosy'. I'd describe it as a bug ridden flea pit, complete with wildlife in the form of roaches and a mice.

Heres what they left my right arm looking like. If you flip the image 180' you get a picture of my left arm... lets hope they don't scar.

Waking up with the call to prayer this morning I was aware of not having had a very good nights sleep, the reason possibly being the 60+ bug bites smattered all over my body and face. The owners promptly exploded a bug bomb in the room, rendering it a chemical war zone for the next week and upgraded me to a bigger room downstairs, again with the complimentary in room mouse. I'd happily have upped and moved off to a new hostel if this place wasn't the only link between me and my luggage.

Despite all this, today has been a good day. Its lashed with rain so i've sat in a cafe and, for the first time in a long time, had time to read the Economist from cover to cover.




I met a group of volunteers working at Mother Theresa's home for the poor and spent lunch learning about how the charity works and how they're involved. I've also scrambled around a few shops to pick up toothpaste, deodorant, a clean t-shirt etc etc and just a few minutes ago the hostel received a call saying my packs arriving on an Air India flight tomorrow morning! I wonder if its had as much fun as me in the last 3 days...

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"X" marks the spot!

Tickets are booked, visas stamped and backpack is packed...
Wish me luck!

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101 (whose counting?) totally useless yet curious things you don't need to know

In the 1400's a law was set forth that a man was not allowed to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have "the rule of thumb".

Many years ago in Scotland, a new game was invented. It was ruled "Gentlemen Only...Ladies Forbidden"...and thus the word GOLF entered
into the English language.

The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV was Fred and Wilma Flintstone

Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the US Treasury.

Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.

Coca-Cola was originally green.

It is impossible to lick your elbow.

The average number of people airborne over the US any given hour: 61,000

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

The first novel ever written on ! a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.

Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king in history:
Spades - King David
Hearts - Charlemagne
Clubs -Alexander, the Great
Diamonds - Julius Caesar

111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter "A"?
A. One thousand

Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common?
A. All invented by women.

Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?
A. Honey

In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by
ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the
bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase......... "goodnight, sleep tight."

It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon.

In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts... So in old England, when customers got unruly, ! the bartender would yell at them "Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down." It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's"

Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the
rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired by this practice.

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd
waht I was rdgnieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan
mnid aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy,
it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod
are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and
lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a
taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey
lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a ! wlohe.

ps. I can lick my elbow!

Doug's on the telly!

After months of getting up at horrible o'clock Doug's patience, persistence, diplomacy and dogged determination has finally got him out of the control room and into the limelight!

See him in all his glory here ... (scroll down a bit)

Its the first time i've ever seen him in a suit & tie! Anyhow, he looks like he's taking it all in his stride but tells me he was shitty bricks at the time, oh, and that the horrible o'clock bit doesn't change.

Nevermind. Well done Doug!

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From the BBC:

This makes me happy...

"Climate change campaigner Al Gore and the UN's Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change have been jointly awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. "

and this pisses me off...

"President George W Bush, was "happy" at the "important recognition" for his rival and the IPCC, a White House spokesman said. However, the president was not about to change his more sceptical stance on global warming, the spokesman said."

You can read the full article here

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Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Today, Wednesday 10th October, a full 2 months prior to the event I saw this years first Christmas ad.

WTF

Girl Power!

This year i'm lucky enough to be able to attend the annual WIN conference, being held for the 10th year, this time in Oslo.

I'll blog later a bit about what WIN (Women's International Networking) is all about and what i'm getting out of it but all you need to know for now is that more than 700 females from around the planet are gathered here this week to talk about global challenges, goals and ambitions.

The speakers so far have been amazing but the announcement that got the biggest round of applause; that the hotel and conference facility had designated all male toilets in the building unisex.



There are some very confused/bemused/scared men walking around this evening ;-)

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Ladies & Gentlemen...



I fly pretty frequently and its almost guaranteed that during every flight i'll hear the annoucement:

"Ladies and Gentlemen, we are about to enter a zone of turbulance and so for your safety the Captain has turned on the fasten seatbelt sign..."

then, almost immediately after the announcement, the plane starts to rattle and shake.

My question is this; turbulance is nothing more than angry air, and you can't see air, so how do they know we're about to hit turbulance?

Do pilots have a magical 'wind warning system' up there in the cockpit do they just make the announcement then jiggle the controls around to give us a bit of a bumpy ride?

Answers on a sick bag please.


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This makes me smile!

HAPPY NEW YEARS !!

This post is dedicated to Ethiopia who today, Sept 12 2007, joins the 21st century!

I first became aware of Ethiopia back in 1984 when news reports brought images of starving children into our lounge. Bob Geldof rapidly mobilized the masses and Band Aid raised more than GBP 8 million, then it all went quiet again.

Twenty years later if you say 'Ethiopia' to me the word conjures up a very different image, namely large plates of delicious stews and salads served on 'injera' (large flat bread) and washed down with 'tej' (honey wine).

Not a pot-bellied infant in sight!

Ethiopia has made huge inroads into other areas of our day to day life recently. We're now all addicted to its Arabica beans and Broken Flowers brought Malatu Astatke, the father of Ethio-Jazz, on to our ipods.



Ethiopia's still a poor and troubled country. you only need to take a look at its infant mortality and HIV infection rates to see that but culturally and historically its rich, oh so rich; The queen of Sheba, Haile Selassie, Communism, Rastafaris, Haile Gebreselassie, Zion... need I go on?

Today, 12th September 2007, in honor of Ethiopia joining the 21st century pour yourself a mug of Ethiopia's finest and please make time to familiarize yourself a little more with their country and culture...


Link to Wikipedia , crack open the CIA factbook, download some Ethiopian tunes, and look up your nearest Ethiopian restaurant for dinner - you wont be disappointed!



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How green is your god?

Were Adam and Eve tree-huggers? The Book of Genesis says that in the beginning God placed man as guardian over the earth, but somewhere along the line he obviously let his responsibilities slip.

Last weekend the Vatican jumped on the environmental bandwagon and held its first eco-rally in which Benedict XVI (dressed suitably in green) called on global leaders to save the planet.


Of course the Vatican can do this with a clear conscious given its upcoming status as 'the world's only carbon neutral state'. For that it has to thank a Hungarian organisation thats donated 15 hectares of carbon hungry forest that will gobble up that Vatican nasty emmissions for years to come (read the online article here).

But I'm questioning just how seriously the Vatican takes saving our planet.

Surely if the environment really was a major concern for them and they want to carry out god's word and be guardians of the earth they would be encouraging pilgrims to take more environmentally friendly methods of transport rather than launching a new fossil fuel guzzling budget airline...

From where I sit it looks like Benedict's trying to boost god's popularity by aligning the church with a cause we've all been concerned about for a while now, whilst boosting god's coffers by entering directly into competition with RyanAir and other budget carriers flying those pilgrimage routes.

Theres no doubt about it. Religion truly is twisted

In an ideal world

Every weekend you start like this..





Thanks to Cama and Fion for a great escape from the smoke.
Pictures are on Flickr

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More Flow Charts / Diagrams

I found a quirky little site on the web today...














Thanks to indexed


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Photos


Not from me this time, but from Douglas Gayeton, documenting his travels in Tuscany, and worth taking time to browse through.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/gayeton/sets/512868/show/

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Essential Business tool

Thanks to BoingBoing for cutting through all the corporate crap and rendering decision-making so simple:



I'll never have to sit through a management training session again.

It's a man's man's world...

Over the summer months its not unusual to see the press zooming in on the rich and famous vacationing; either looking stunning on the beaches or catching them at an inelegant bikini moment (insert any Paris Hilton photo here...).

Whilst most try to shirk the media's attention over their summer break President Putin bared all (well most) this week giving Russia something to oogle at...



Did Putin bare his 'vigorous torso', to boost his personal appeal to voters? or was he simply relaxing during his Siberian vacation? One thing's for sure is that Pres' pecs have set Russia ablaze.

Komsomolskaya Pravda, Russia's nationwide daily newspaper who posted the photos on their website reported women visiting their site as "screaming with delight and showering (him) with compliments." And its not just the women he's turned on. Russia's gay chat rooms are equally abuzz.

Whilst Russia's media and the Kremlin speculate his motives its clear that Putin, who has a reputation as being a great skier and a black belt in judo, is not shy of his bod.


France, or at least the French celeb-mag 'Paris Match', it appears is not so proud of their leader this week as it becomes clear that they air-brushed out the President Sarkozy's 'poignées d'amour' (love handles).



Whilst Putin parades proud, the BBC reports Sarkozy as having 'scolded' US photographers who snapped him and his family during his summer vacation but it may be too late, the French blogosphere having picked up on the scandal and more unflattering images coming to light daily.



Like Putin, Sarkozy has a reputation as being a sportsman and a great jogger. Although lacking a judo belt those 'poignées' don't appear out of place in the sumo circuit.


Being President cannot be easy but for Russia's ruler its definitly a man's man's world. For Sarko however, it ain't nothing without a woman or a girl (preferably skilled in the art of Photoshop).

Weapon of mass transport...

On a dark night about a month back the invasion started, and in a matter of weeks the streets of Paris were alive with Vélibs...





Bertrand Delanoe, Paris' left wing mayor, has put 10,700 public bicycles on the streets in the last month and with 1,451 parking stations roughly every 300m they've instantly become part of the fabric of the city.


Providing a 24/7 mode of transport the scheme is aimed equally at making it easier to get around the city and cutting greenhouse gases. But a distinct lack of cycle paths (and helmets) makes pedaling around the city a high adrenalin sport...



Not known for its compassionate drivers Paris has never been an incredibly cycle-friendly city, but with another 10,000 bikes being delivered before the end of the year manpower stands a better chance of overpowering motor in the very near future....

Spotted!

Look who I found on a recent trip to Lyon....











It's Sixie, Mixie's 'purer than thou' twin from Macau.







It would appear that shes been hitting the Slimfast, strayed from the path of righteousness and got tangled up with those naughty Raelian people...



Still no word from Mixie though...

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Lyon Road Trip


With a full tank of gas and a dodgy collection of 80's music Doug and I hired a car a couple of weeks back and headed South to Lyon and Bourgogne.

Rather than boring you all with words i'll let the pictures speak for themselves.

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More flying visits...